The Meyer's-Briggs' test is something that I find really interesting. I love talking to people about their personality types because I find people dynamics interesting. I know a lot of people don't like taking tests like that or the Enneagram, but to me I see it as a way to better understand how others and myself work. The way we act, rest and make decisions is based off of our personality. #personalitytests
In the Meyer's-Briggs' test I am an INFJ, the Advocate. We are a rare personality type, but we are often seen because we are people who care for others and do our best to positively impact others. You will often see this personality type as pastors, counselors, and even politicians. Though we're introverted, we care about people deeply and want to comfort people and make them feel loved in the midst of dark times. #calling
I am very passionate about being there for people and telling them that they're valuable in my eyes and in God's. Over the course of my life, I've felt God put it on my heart to be there for people who are walking through depression, to let them know they're not alone while going through it and that others have overcome it, including myself.
This past week was a major way in which God showed me this calling is still a part of my life.
Final Greetings was asked to lead worship at a camp in Northern California for a church from Kelseyville. There were about 150 of us there, including students and leaders. It was so fun to be there will all the kids and to try learning the names. I'm sad to say I probably was only able to learn about 40 of them, but I tried! #ifailediknow
These kids were so fun to be with. I saw Janelle(top left) around the camp and got to hang out with her during meals and service times. I got to play a game called signs with Corbin(middle top) and Sam(top right) a couple of the days, and we were able to rapid-fire and keep from getting tagged by the person in the middle. Cally(bottom left) was a sweet girl that I didn't get to spend much time with, but man did she have some sass during the lip-sync battle! And Lily(bottom right) was one of my first friends at camp. She remembered me from the conference we had been at in Kelseyville a little over a month before, and we quickly became joking buddies while she played volleyball. #funtimes
The thing we learned after being with the kids a couple days is how difficult life is for them. They come from Lake county, one of the most poverty-ridden counties in the state of California. Because of the low income, many of their families are going through difficulties in finances and often times their family members resort to drugs and alcohol to numb themselves.
This was especially the case in my cabin.
These are the girls I spent most of camp with. I was in their small group for a few nights before spending the last night of camp in their cabin. Their names(starting at top left) are Holly, Gabby, Maddie, Nadine, Courtney, Audrey and Kaitlyn. There were a couple other girls in our cabin and small group in the picture on the right named Megan, Aldany, Cherish, Veronica, Lilla and Destiny. #ilovemygirls
The first night of discussions we talked about self-confidence and our confidence in God. Many of the girls opened up about their struggles with making friends and losing friends, or that they struggle with focusing on what other people think about them. But for some of these girls, there was an underlying feeling of something being wrong with them because they weren't always loved.
The next day I was able to spend some time talking with one of the girls and to hear about the struggles she was walking through due to past hurts and the stress of reliving bad memories while feeling like she was responsible for taking care of her family. I felt her pain, and it was hard to know there wasn't much I could do besides talk to her and pray for her.
Later that night we talked again about our struggles with self-image. Again, the girls opened up and shared that they worry about other people's opinions and that they try to make it through, even though they aren't sure if they're loved. #pain
The final night was even harder. Some of the girls opened up about the pressure from their family to be perfect, others sharing that others expect them to become drug addicts like their brothers. Others talked about going through verbal abuse from their parents and wishing they could protect their siblings from it.
One of the girls from my cabin also suffered a panic attack because she was dreading going home. She didn't feel loved or wanted, and she didn't know if she could keep going. For over an hour I held her hand and told her to breathe while telling her that we would stay by her side and reminded her of all the good times in life.
My heart broke for all of these girls. Many of them didn't want to leave camp because they'd walk back into unhealthy situations and they weren't sure if they could make it through. But through the course of the week, they realized that their strength was in each other. After talking and praying with these girls, I told them that it wasn't their fault that their friends left or didn't want to be with them, that they can be different than their family and break the bonds of addiction with God's help. #changecancome
It was hard to watch the pain that all these kids are living in, but in the face of that so many of them found faith. I was able to pray with a girl who wanted to rededicate her life to God and ask Him to take control. Cally(pictured earlier) and her brother were both baptized in the camp pool because she had been loving her brother and encouraging him to love Jesus, and that helped him become a believer that week at camp.
Two of the girls from my cabin, Nadine and Courtney, also were baptized that week. They were scared, but they wanted to honor God and proclaim Jesus as their savior. I was so proud of them.
Even though it will be a while before I can see these kids again, I carry them all in my heart. I shed tears with them and still have to keep them back when I think about camp again. They're walking through hard times, but I see that they can change the world. I pray that they will see God working in their lives, and that my heart will keep breaking for them so I never forget that there's joy in the midst of tears.